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Lauren

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(1 | speak beyatch!)

Promise Ascot [14 Sep 2004|06:38pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Danielle's birfdae was pretty kewl..we went to build-a-bear, YAY!. we were seriously retarded, we cut ahead of two 6-yr. olds and the girl who wa shelping us build our bears was sooo sarcastic. she was this disgusting, ruddy looking thing, and she was staring at us, and would say things like, "So...you're like, having a pj party or sumthing?" or "OK, now, close your eyes real tight and make a good wish!". i kinda felt bad for her in a way. ehh, whatever. For danielles birfdae i got he ra conor album, fevers and mirrors, and a hot pink satin ascot. it fucking owns. its incredible. she better wear it to school, as a symbol of her devotion to joe, the Emoascotgod(-dess?). I heard this nasty rumor about Mr. Cook too, that this senior girl(i forgot who),when we were freshemen, used to live near him. She'd poke smot, and he'd join her, which would be followed by drinking and they'd have sex every once in awhile. IDK if its def. true, but its fun to talk about, so w/e bitches. Annd uh, i hurt my finger in class today, damn, ill have to go a couple of days w/o being able to comfortably scratch my ass(or just backside in my case). Oh, and my nanny got her tummy-tuck and breast lift done today, I'm so happy for her, she's gonna be 1 hot granny now, damn, now ill be saying, "i'd give anything to have my nanny's boobs!" i mean, come on, how many people can honestly say that? And anne told me she randomly, without any control or warning, touched the guy's neck in front of her in class, because, "it's just so hot and nice, and i couldn't help myself, like, i actually couldn't stop myself!" ANNE, wtf, first u throw up in gym class, now, ur fondling people's necks, just be glad it was his neck and not his bulge. good job. TA TA CHITLIN.

(3 | speak beyatch!)

lets update this MFR [09 Sep 2004|02:40pm]
[ mood | predatory ]

wow i havn't wrote in this whore in a while..well, the usual b.s.: school stared. whoopty fricken doo. BIG JULE IS NOW 15, finally...well, once he turns 16 i figured his expiration date has expired and im gitten meself a fresh 12 yr old. So he better make this relationship good while it lasts. He finally came over my house, last sat., nicole and willie saw him, (and nicole got a puppy, weee) and i really think willie is terrified of him, he did not make eye contact with him once. I think willie was intimidated by his (blond hair, blue-eyed)ghangsta-pride+ he has that whole arrogant "respect me bitch, i got merit badges up the ding-dong" attitude. and anne i hate you. danielle has to meet him. stupid meniacle bitch, you ruin everything! Just becaus e you have this menacing hidden legion of Emojoes, doesn't mean u can boss us around from 70? miles away. arr.::grumble:: stupid broad:: grumble:: auf wedersein bitchizzis.

(5 | speak beyatch!)

MY GROIN FUCKING BURNS grrrrrrr [24 Aug 2004|11:34am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

its been a long time since i've updated. Let's c, i went to north carolina, which is always pretty fun, i love it there. The beaches and water are actually clean,and there are like no peoplem, i hate nj. I had grits, chased crabs, kayacked, swam. Oh yea, there was the hurricane the first day which kicked ass. Me, my mom, and aunt went ont the beach during the hurricane, and teh wind was practically lifting me up, it was soooo fun, the sand was stinging us, and we had on goggles. Damn, it was great. We were laughing so hard we practically peed ourselves. Now im home, and soccer practice started. It s not too bad, i actually like our new couch alot, he explains plays and stuff, but he also makes us use our muscles, which we don't have. My legs are sooo sore, eh i can barely squat down to relieve myself. Big jule is in another fucking week of camp, wtf is wrong with him...i miss the big fag so damn much. I was suppose dto see hima t a picnic thing on sunday, but once again stupid people got in our way, and they couldn't give me a ride. I'm so maddd. People really suck, not like it comes as a shock to me.

(3 | speak beyatch!)

conor is a bitchizzi [10 Aug 2004|07:48am]
[ mood | creative ]

You and Conor Oberst... by brandnewownsyou
Name
ActionYou kiss. How sweet. :P
Number of times this happens5
Date it happensMay 12, 2042
Does he remember your name?Yepp.
Quiz created with MemeGen!


mwahahaha..excellent. im eventually gonna steal meeksies' man.
In other news, my nanny, mom and little sister went to canal street and bought sum disturbing oriental "fruit" which have a disturbing resemblence to monkey balls:
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(speak beyatch!)

[09 Aug 2004|09:35am]
[ mood | crushed ]

had my teeth cleaned 2day, i luv going to the dentist, my mom verks zere but i just like having a clean feeling in my mouf. Annnd..big jule is in another week of sum camp shit, im really sad/pissed. I might go to the zoo later to make fun of nicole and danielle. and anne is going to n.y. w/ her grandparents to the museum of natural history. lucky whore, science is sexy. anywho, heres a quiz i just took: ARR.
CWINDOWSDesktopPirates.JPG
Pirates of the Caribbean!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

(6 | speak beyatch!)

yooshi [08 Aug 2004|07:51pm]
[ mood | weird ]

tonite, me, meeksies, and nicole (oh yea and anne..)went to cool beans, where we met up w/ willie(WHOO HOO, finally 17!!!)and a bunch of other losers that would talk to us.oo ja, and we saw yoshi, i screamed "excellent!" to him as he was about to take a piss in the backalley. It was pretty fun, i don't remeber smelling pot but sitting in my dining room i noticed my hair smells like body wafts of brian kelly. oh how lovely. we had a lot of fun w/ pez boy and his indian-looking friend. here r sum hot picz yo'. peace. (i'll add the pics when i feel like it). haha..im listening to bright eyes meeksies n/ liz. holla. memories from cool beans:
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lol, a butcher shop right next to cool beans...im shocked it hasn't been burnt down yet by rebel yuppies. wait..can sumone tell me what a CHUCK FILET is??

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WHERE'S THE BEEF??

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PEZ BOY! he's such a hottay, in his most most flattering pose.

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PEZ BOY'S FRIEND! whoo hoo. you play that bad boy.

(7 | speak beyatch!)

[07 Aug 2004|10:39am]
[ mood | amused ]

just got home from work at the bakery...i thnk tonight me, danielle, anne, and nicole r gonna kick around the ball later. (NO, for once i am not being sexually suggestive in any way.)and EUROTRIP KICKS ARSE. thnks anne & sava! lol. damnit, we really have to c napolean dynomite...annnnd big jule comes home today..weeeeee.

whoa..sum environmental guy just stopped by my house, and i asked if i could look at his forms and shit, and i was very sure it wasn't a scam, and he wanted to get people to write letters about maintaining environmental upkeep of nj..so im like..yea..w/e. I gave him 10 bucks...hmm, maybe thats wasn't such a good idea, he reeked of pot, had a pony tail, and im pretty sure my dog's teeth were in better shape than his. wow im great at pissing my money away.

(2 | speak beyatch!)

naughtii gurlz 4 lyfe [05 Aug 2004|04:46pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

e l l e 9 7 1: naughtii gurlz 4 lyfe
Xxxrockon94xxxx: omgz elle dat iz hott
e l l e 9 7 1: lyke omgz laur i kno
e l l e 9 7 1: we r lyke da hottest bytches around dis place.
Xxxrockon94xxxx: omgz, u no watz?
Xxxrockon94xxxx: ur riitez!

lol. wow the splendor of being a pop. vallyish slut, just what this town and even country needs more of. Join meeksies community, naughtii_gurlz. DO IT! NOW! in other news, i have soccer running practice @ 6 :(. and fri we hope to c NAPOLEAN DYNOMITE w/ ANNE .weeeeeeee. And tonight we r gonna watch Eurotrip. Anne and sava said it was funny, and theres nudity, so, we r def. seeing that. and my discovery mag. came today, hellz yea, einstein special! whoo what a hottay.

(4 | speak beyatch!)

my exhibits [04 Aug 2004|09:34pm]
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anne's (and our)new emoish piano punk friend who lives down in hicksville nj by la playa, and yes, hes wearing sum1's pj bottoms.

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SMOKEY! aka ZE JEWBINATOR!!!!

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chrissy poo pie from polackville.

more.."bois" to be added to my collection.

(2 | speak beyatch!)

making fun of people is fun [04 Aug 2004|08:53pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

WEE. today i worked at the hosptl. i work w/ 3 bitches there, (including my nanny). Theres Evelyn, whos 28 and just got engaged to her fiancee, Fernando, they r a bitchin couple i must say. And theres Dale, whos sum older lady but shes not 2 bad, she puts up w/ our immature potty humor. Well, Eve and i compiled a list of sum of the worst patient names we have:

-Gilda Yagelmitzer(<---old ugly lady that flirts w/ our Dr.)
-Labian Korotch (<---i wonder what her mid. name is, Penisa?)
-Maria Moo (<---hahaha...this 1 had liposuction)
-Belinda Doof (<---she's just an asshole.)

hahaha...losers. I'll be sure to post more. And, if by any chance you share the same name as those mentioned above, god bless your pathetic existence and thank your parents.

And Anne is finally here!!! yaaaaaaay!
P.S. all my friends are stupid dirty italians.
P.P.S. ^if i offended you, im sry, well..no, not really.
P.P.P.S, It's MARTHA STUART'S BIRTHDAY!!! woo let's whip out the crockpots and doilies! Sale at K-mart!

(speak beyatch!)

mmmm paint [02 Aug 2004|11:33pm]
[ mood | sore ]

before i got back from the park painting the mural, wow i underestimated how much of a pain in the ass its gonna be. It took me like 3 hours just to paint a white base background and sum of the water, damn. ehh im sore all over, especially my legs and wrists. maybe i'll take a bubble bath, havn't had 1 of those since i was like 10. i was wondering for the past couple of days where the hell nicole was, until danielle imed me that she was spending the week at her g-mas. I havn't called her for the past week, im not really mad at her anything idk i've just had other things on my mind. I rrrealy rreally wanted to c spiderman 2 tonight but i didnt cuz of the stupid paiting...and i still have paint on me, who knows how the hell im gonna get it off. o and willie visited anne today while on vaca.! i wonder how that turned out...lol. g'night whores.

(1 | speak beyatch!)

Anne's Hoose [02 Aug 2004|09:29am]
[ mood | crazy ]

A couple of weeks ago, me, nicole, and danielle went down to anne's house by the shore, we had mad bitchin' fun. I love this pic of all of us. We'll be seeing anne for nicoles sweet 16 to ny woo hoo. But, damn, i would have been better off just painting myself green and blending w/ the trees in the background...

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wee pure sexiness.

(1 | speak beyatch!)

Anne is a Beautiful Slore. [02 Aug 2004|08:10am]
[ mood | chipper ]

Here is a song that anne applied to me and big jule, i think it's quite lovely. It was taken from one of her dead journal entries:

Well, I decided that the Liz Phiar song Rock Me is definitely Lauren and PJ's song. Here are the lyrics:

Rock Me
Oh baby you're young but that's ok (Lauren says age is just a number)
What's give or take nine years anyway (Lauren said nine years Isn't really that big of a difference)
I'll bet your last cigarette you won't regret my time (Lauren and Pj do smoke together, but not cigarettes)
I wanna be with a guy like you, (actually it's guys in Lauren's case)
So uncomplicated so in tune
Just take off my dress,(Lauren you slut!)
Let's mess with everybody's mind
I gotta tell you
Baby Baby Baby if its alright want you to rock me all night
Baby Baby Baby if its alright want you to rock me all night
All night
Yeah rock me all night
Hey yeah yeah
Hey yeah yeah
I wanna play xbox in your floor (Lauren does like video games)
Say hi to your roommate who's next door (Lauren is friendly)
You don't have a dime, (PJ is probably poor. Not really I don't know that for sure)
But i don't mind who gives a damn (Lauren never cares about What people think b/c she's an odd one)
Your record collection don't exist
you don't even know who liz phair is (I bet PJ doesn't know who Liz Phair is)
pure potential with no credentials
your mama taught you how to be a sensitive man (I hear PJ has a very involved mother)
Baby Baby Baby if its alright want you to rock me all night
Baby Baby Baby if its alright want you to rock me all night (PJ does rock Lauren all night)
All night
Yeah rock me all night (because Lauren is a slut)
Hey yeah yeah
I've been waiting all my life for,
Hey yeah yeah
For this feeling
Who'd 've guessed you could rock me all night (I actually thought 5 minutes maximum.)
Rock me all night
You think i'm a genious, think i'm cool (Lauren is the object of PJ's obsession)
I'm starting to think that young guys rule (Lauren already decided that when she dated that 11 year old last year)
Oh god let me save you, i might change you and i might change my mind
Baby Baby Baby if its alright want you to rock me all night
Baby Baby Baby if its alright want you to rock me all night
All night
Yeah rock me all night

(1 | speak beyatch!)

Um, yea. [01 Aug 2004|06:00pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

lets c now...woke up @ 7 for work at the bakery, got home at 2ish, ate good shit from the bakery. OOOhhh yea, i guess the highlight of my day would be driving to my nanny & pop pops hoose. It was pretty fun, my mom was soo scared, it was like she was attatched to sum hideously scary ride at an amusement park and deeply regretted being forced to go on. omg, she was soo annoying. Like, 50 ft. before every stop sign, she would be like, lauren, dnt forget to brake!!! Lauren!!!! ur blinker!!!! NO SHIT MOM. I swear, she wouldn't really mind if we got into an accident, as long as her pwecious chevy bwazer didn't get huwt....sickening. besides that, big jule went off on another boyscout adventure, god forbid he misses a week of any available camping outings for b.s. in the state of nj. I really miss him, but im not gonna let u suffer, i dnt wanna turn this journal all emoish. and his mom Sucks. that may seem mean, but, im being honest. I spoke to him really late/into early morning last night, until his dad figured out that he wasn't just singing to himself in the bathroom. I'll see him twice b4 school starts. b4 i make ur ears fall off, ill shut up now, c ya pimps.

(speak beyatch!)

[31 Jul 2004|11:36am]
[ mood | depressed ]

today sucks, dnt feel like writing...

(2 | speak beyatch!)

YES, i finally figured out this html SHIT [29 Jul 2004|04:22pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

introducing...DOLPHIN PIMP MASTER 3000!!!:
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(drawn by me)
P.S. thnks again meeksies 4 html shiz :)

(speak beyatch!)

BLOB!!!! [29 Jul 2004|02:59pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Adopt your own useless blob!


i guess this is what to become of americans if we all keep on eating ourselves past obesity.

(speak beyatch!)

PERMIT TODAY! [29 Jul 2004|07:00am]
howdy all, just woke up at like 9ish...had cheerios and cookies for breakfast( NO NOT Cookiecrisp, i hate that cookie-poser shit), i feel quite satisfied. today at 4:30 i'm going for my final driving lesson for 2 hours. I actually like my instructor, he's nice short balding 50 yr. old italian man who smells like buttered noodles (shudders). Annnnd after that, im either going to go cruisin' with my dad or work on that god-forsaken mural at memorial park, i don't even feel like working on it anymore, im so lazy. But i did spend $600 dollars of the towns money on paint and shit, (kiss my white ass, taxpayers of dumont). So, they'll be just a little bothered if i don't follow through with my "creative plans" MWAHAHAAHA. And, i still don't kno what the hell to git nicole for her 16th birthday, ideas anyone?being that i go into this semi-dormant existence during the summer, ill prob. have time to write in this thang later.

P.S. thnks meeksies for making my journal sexy. help anne make one, lol.

foshizzie,
LaUrra.

(speak beyatch!)

[28 Jul 2004|08:19pm]
yes, i have sucessfully adopted an emo fetus, oh how good it feels to play god.

(3 | speak beyatch!)

[28 Jul 2004|08:14pm]

I adopted a cute lil' emo fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

(1 | speak beyatch!)

[28 Jul 2004|05:38pm]
GRR i just went to j's livejournal for no reason, and he has adopted a fetus!! that is so fucking kewl, i tried to get 1 but i can't!! GRR i hate computers..DAMNIT i NEED A FETUS FOR MY LJ! meeksies help me.

(3 | speak beyatch!)

journal entry #2 [28 Jul 2004|05:28pm]
[ mood | full ]

had work at the plastic surgery office @ hackensack hosptl., it's bitchin i must say. After work, my grandma,or 'nanny' as i call her, took me to get a rrrreally nice pedicure at this swedish spa right in the hosptl. Wow. It was like sex for my feet, it was awesome. I havn't had a pedicure or manicure since my 8th grade dance, pathetic, i know. When i got home my mom laid all this unneeded bullshit on me about how she had to borrow 600 bucks from my bank account (to pay off for the foreigner's car i dented while backing out of my driveway). Whatever, as long as they pay me back, within a reasonable time, and in money, not peanuts or beanie babies. My uncle gave my dad 4 tickets to the yankee game this fri.,(HMMMM is that another corny family outing i smell?) well, i guess it'll be fun, the yankees are pretty sexy, i don't follow baseball, but i consider myself a yankee fan. ehh yea, in other news, Ben Kweller is a master boyscout. I have sum thing for boyscouts, i swear to gawd... enough said. peace out hoes.

(1 | speak beyatch!)

just call me crash bandicoot [27 Jul 2004|06:03pm]
[ mood | groggy ]

Hmmm...maybe ill try to write sumthing, i hate writing. I don't understand how or why some people are so skilled at it, w/e. Yea, just stuffed meself on brownie batter, and a brownie or two. And i have a horrendous headache, blah. Oh yea, i had my third driving lesson today, WOOO HOO. Went on rt. 17, 55 mph bitches. It was fun, I did better than i expected considering my last car "incident", 570 bucks in damage. Well, my mom was 'stupid enough to let me pull out of the driveway before my first lesson' -according to my dad, so...it was a learning experience for her i guess, she should have known, its not my fault..psshht. I'm paying a third of the damage, not too bad.I'm still trying to figure out how to make my journal all pwetty, hmm..time to harass meeksies. Toodles whores.

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